


Wherever You Are

by Ember_Keelty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-28
Updated: 2011-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-16 00:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/166630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Keelty/pseuds/Ember_Keelty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vriska finds out about Kanaya's death and promptly flips out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherever You Are

This isn't how it goes.

Karkat explains what happened as Vriska kneels by the body with green seeping into gold and fingers twisted through hair too short for her to get the kind of grip she needs right now. At first, all she can think of is how perfect it could have been. Eridan storms in, announces his intended treason, duels and blinds Sollux, turns the wand on Feferi — and is blasted to pieces when it backfires due to a lethal luck deficiency. Everyone turns to stare at her, shell-shocked and awestruck, and suddenly she isn't the crazy one anymore. Maybe she should let him kill Feferi so no one can say that she acted too quickly, or that he didn't deserve to die. But Feferi's never been anything but friendly to her, and Vriska doesn't want her to be dead, so she gets to live, and anyone soft-skulled enough to doubt that Vriska did the Hard But Necessary Thing like the big damn hero she is can lick her nook.

That's the right reality; this one is all wrong. Important things don't happen when she's not around to be part of them. Important people don't die. Kanaya doesn't check out before she can watch Vriska kill the demon and see once and for all that her moirail isn't a stupid little girl anymore. Is this what she gets for wasting time on Tavros? That can't be it; she can do all of the things and play all of the roles — all of them, all of the time. If she wants to kill someone, everyone else with a homicidal agenda needs to wait in line.

"I _did_ kill Tavros," she blurts out suddenly.

"Oh God, what?" says Karkat, but she isn't talking to him.

"I killed Tavros," she repeats. "It was his own stupid fault for challenging me to a duel, but he's so far beneath me I could have snubbed him. I just didn't want to." She yanks on Kanaya's hair, jerking her head around without resistance. "Are you listening, Maryam? You liked him, right? That's what you get for not paying attention to your moirail!"

"Oh fuck no," says Karkat. "Not _three_ of you."

"Don't you have something to say about that?" Vriska demands. "How can you keep ignoring me after all I've done? Don't you hate me? Don't you pity me? Don't you care about me at all?"

Kanaya stares past her with horrible glossy eyes, and Vriska can't take it anymore. She disentangles her fingers and sets her friend's head down with unaccustomed gentleness.

"What _was_ her deal?" she asks much more quietly as she brushes Kanaya's eyelids shut.

"She loved you, dumbass," says Karkat.

That shuts Vriska up — but only for a moment. Then she screams, and the room floods with light as violently bright as the Alternian sun.

Suddenly she understands everything, and she really wishes she didn't. She was loved, and she fucked it up like she fucks up everything. She pushed away the one person who ever cared about her to chase after a boy who would sooner let her bleed to death slowly than step up and take responsibility for anything. When Kanaya needed her most she was _still_ too busy chasing him, albeit in an altogether different way.

Her voice gives out as the light dies down, and she sees Karkat trying desperately to cover his eyes and plug his ears at the same time.

"I'm going to kill Eridan," she rasps, and for once it isn't a boast or a gloat. It's a statement of fact, and that's all.

"Oh, just like that?" says Karkat, blinking away the spots from his eyes. "You're not going to make me grovel or butter you up or anything?"

"Please," she says with a poor imitation of her own smile, "there'd be no point in that. We both know how badly you need me right now."

She will destroy him for this. She will drain his luck so dry that he'll have a hundred holes in him before anything vital gets hit. It won't do a damn thing for her, but she'll do it, because what else can she do? It's the only thing she's good at, and she's simply the best there is.

 _You better be watching this, Maryam_ , she thinks, and steps onto the transportalizer.


End file.
